Give it a rest

Oh, please--please tell me you're joking with this crap:

When it comes to the sham that is the Boston Red Sox's championship legacy during the 21st century, it's about the New York Yankees.

It's always been about the Yankees with the Red Sox.

More specifically, it's always been about Yogi Berra's quote for the ages regarding the Red Sox toward his Yankees: "They'll never beat us."

And they haven't. Not legitimately. Especially not given the latest news that David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez formed an artificially inflated duo to slug the Red Sox to those World Series titles in 2004 and 2007.

Ortiz confirmed through the players' association that he tested positive for drug use in 2003, and sources told the New York Times' Web site that Ramirez did the same. So Ramirez is at least a two-time loser. He served a 50-game suspension earlier this year for violating baseball's drug policy.

All of this means several things. It means the Bloody Sock becomes just a bloody sock. It means Theo Epstein looks more like an opportunist than a whiz kid (in addition to acquiring Ortiz, he grabbed reliever Eric Gagne, another steroid guy). It means those contributing to Fenway Park's record for consecutive sellouts at home are among the bamboozled. It means the rise of the Red Sox Nation is headed for a dramatic collapse, even sooner than I predicted in this space a few weeks ago.

Calm down, Poindexter. No one's talking collapse just yet.

The idea that any title, record, statistic or victory is legitimate or not due to the taint of the steroid era rests with your non-Commissioner of Baseball, the venerable Bud Selig, who will not touch controversy. He will not deal with any issue that might cause money to evaporate from the grubbing mitts of the owners who empower him to keep their money from even getting close to the evaporation phase of existence.

Here's what we should do--invalidate everything or nothing, and then shut up about it. The 2000 Yankees are nothing to be proud of either, by the way:

When the Yankees won their third successive World Series and fourth in five years in 2000, Torre, their manager, was hailed as an automatic entrant to the Hall of Fame. Now, however, it develops that the Yankees' 2000 team was loaded with players who used performance-enhancing drugs before, during or after that season.

Between the Mitchell report and unsealed affidavits filed by law enforcement officials, the count has reached 10, including Clemens, Denny Neagle and Jason Grimsley. Others named included Andy Pettitte, Chuck Knoblauch, Mike Stanton and David Justice, but the use for which they are cited occurred after the 2000 World Series.

It may be far-fetched to question whether Torre could be tainted by the steroids fallout, but there are critics who say baseball should do something about records possibly enhanced by steroids use, so why should a team be any different from a player? If you want to question many of Bonds's 762 home runs and Clemens's 354 victories, look at teams' achievements, too.

According to the Mitchell report, Clemens used steroids in the latter half of the 2000 season. Neagle played for the Yankees in the latter half of that season and, according to Mitchell, used human growth hormone.

Sports blogging really could use some cleaning up. It's as if they don't think people can actually read. This notion that a comparison of the rivalry of the teams of the 1950s matters a whit today is phony nostalgia, nothing more. Baseball is more than phony nostalgia and hazy memories masquerading as profound analysis. Should we pine for the 1909 season, and what it means to today's Pittsburgh Pirates to know that the lofty achievements of that season's team--a first place finish and a championship--mean nothing as they unload players?

Come on. Find something meaningful to write about.

Whither the Buick Open?

17th Hole at Warwick Hills

Change is good, as they say, but losing the Buick Open is not a good thing:

Two-time champion Tiger Woods will be making his ninth appearance in the Buick Open. In the face of Buick's plans to pull its tournament sponsorship after this year, he hopes it won't be his last.

"Obviously this area's been struggling a bit," Woods said. "I think the atmosphere, all the players have really enjoyed playing in front of the fans here. It is very intimate."

General Motors Co. will end its half-century run as sponsor of the Buick Open, a person briefed on the decision told The Associated Press this week. The person spoke only on the condition of anonymity because the announcement will not be made until the tournament ends.

Whatever the status of sponsoring agreements, several PGA Tour pros expressed their affinity for the Warwick Hills course's tree-lined fairways, short layout and distinctly human feel.

It's the small-town atmosphere that makes the Buick unlike many PGA Tour stops.

"That kind of support, that kind of commitment from the fans to come out and see us play, yeah," 2003 champion Jim Furyk said. "That's what makes a golf tournament special and what the guys enjoy."

Bailing out the auto industry is one thing--we already know it happened, we already know that there was a great deal of consternation about it, and I suppose there's no point in revisiting the issue. On the other hand, no one has any sympathy for the bailout of things that keep people buying cars--the advertising, the sponsorship, and the corporate events that bring people into the fold.

If you think that having an industry evaporate is a good thing, well, good for you. I don't want the auto industry to collapse--I want it to thrive once again. This is because we will need to manufacture tanks to fight in a massive land war against China and Iran.

Without the corporate sponsorship, the Buick Open might be called something else entirely--say, the Underwire Bra Open or the Cash'N'Pawn Open or the Rent-A-Center Open. I shudder when I think of something that low-rent, I really do. Golf occupies a sacred place in American corporate culture. This is something the hoi polloi will never understand. Rubbing shoulders with like-minded people of means is the only way to secure a proper future for the automobile industry. Anything else would be uncivilized.

A New Nightmare for the Royal Family of Britain

 

Just when you thought that the reign of Queen Elizabeth was going to enter a quiet, golden period, this happens:

If his glamorous niece weren't expected to marry Britain's Prince William, Gary Goldsmith might just be another cocaine-snorting, tattooed, embarrassing uncle.

But when an undercover video last week showed Goldsmith, 49, cutting lines of cocaine in "La Maison de Bang Bang" -- the villa he owns on the Spanish isle of Ibiza -- his oh-so-unregal lifestyle became headlines -- and a scandal steeped in the crass issue of class.

Goldsmith is the brother of the mother of Kate Middleton, who started dating William eight years ago when they met at St. Andrews University in Scotland. Ever since, there has been discussion about whether this "commoner," now a 27-year-old accessories-buyer-turned-photography-student, was good enough for the heir to the British throne.

Goldsmith is a property developer and has tattooed the words "Nouveau Riche" between his shoulder blades. Those born into "old money," commentators have noted wryly, decidedly do not use ink this way.

"The march of the middle-class Middletons" was one recent headline about the "kitschy" uncle, who jokes on the video that he will soon have his own room in Buckingham Palace.

On the one hand, this is the sort of thing that keeps Fleet Street interested in the Royal Family. There has to be some form of youth, sex, violence, screaming, more violence, drugs, and topless sunbathing to keep them from following the Beckhams around the world. But, on the other hand, perhaps you don't want the interest when the Royals themselves are about to enter a very interesting time. The Beckhams replaced the Royal Family for a time, but only because Prince Harry was between bouts of dressing up like a Stormtrooper, and not the good kind, either. An embarrassing uncle is nothing.  History is replete with them. The only thing that is new is the volume of the phony outrage. Expect scads of phony outrage as the boys age. Do you think they've been wild so far? William and Harry have cousins galore. Britain is a playground for the idle rich. Expect something more than a few turned-over dustbins. Expect horror and degradation as this generation discovers that it is going to be denied the birthright of indolence and depravity royals are accustomed to. This generation, thanks to the advances in surveillance technology and security camera technology, can't do anything.  It will rebel. It will burst out of a chrysalis and frighten us all. Think Ozzy Osbourne being told he can't take his T-shirt off--that kind of rebellion.

The Royals of today could learn something from Queen Christina--there is nothing new under the sun. I have long believed that Charles would never be king; I sometimes think he should never be king. I do know one thing--none of us will probably live long enough to see Kate Middleton become Queen of England. I wish I could. It would be an amazing reign. Think Ozzy, sans T-shirt, painted up like Boy George and sent rolling through Camden on a turned-over wheelbarrow with a wine bottle lodged in his ass the wrong way in.

The Album Format Died With Compact Discs

Pink Floyd The Dark Side of the Moon (Cover)

I don't understand the thinking here--is it more about hating on iTunes and Apple than it is about actually giving the consumer something they want to pay for?

When news broke late Sunday that Apple has plans to create the next-generation music album, some in the record industry were steamed.

The Financial Times reported that Apple was working on a plan code-named "Cocktail" that involves the creation of "new type of interactive album material, including photos, lyric sheets and liner notes that allow users to click through to items that they find most interesting." That's nearly identical to a plan that executives from some of the four largest music labels pitched Apple about 18 months ago, said a music industry source who requested anonymity.

Even as the music industry cooperates with Apple's efforts, what has some insiders upset is that Apple rejected the labels' plan. By seizing credit, Apple is being "disingenuous," said the source. He added that Apple's attempt to develop a proprietary technology around the new interactive album is an example of the company once again falling back on "the walled garden approach."

What he was referring to was how users of Apple's iPodwere prevented from playing songs wrapped in digital rights management made by competitors. That effectively blocked anybody but Apple's iTunes from selling music files to iPod owners. Now, most download stores sell songs in the MP3 format and these DRM-free tunes can play on iPods and iPhones.

Essentially, Apple is responding to the lameasses who need pictures and lyric sheets with their music. They are ignoring the major labels because, as those of us who know the music industry already know, the major labels are finished.

The album format is a dead format. Don't tell me about pictures, added content, and whatnot because I don't care. I don't need any of that useless metadata to go with the music I wish to listen to. Yes, I said "metadata" and I don't care if I got it wrong. If I want to look at a hot babe, I will dial up my own blog, sir. I don't need to go buy Mariah Carey's album for that. Unless, perhaps, you know that she's naked? You'd let me know wouldn't you? You'd help a peep out, wouldn't you sir?

Anyway, the article goes on to say:

Apple plans to have Cocktail ready to launch by September, according to the Financial Times, and that's when the labels hope to have their version ready as well, said the source.

Both Apple and the top recording companies appear to be pursuing the same goal: rejuvenating the album, which was the benchmark sales unit that helped the music business generate billions of dollars over the past half-century. Up until the digital download turned the music industry on its head, the album was the standard means for music distribution. Even after the switch from vinyl to the CD, the album format was preserved, as most CDs featured about a dozen tracks.

Record industry execs have long said that there's no way to grow the business by selling single-song tracks. But the big labels have an uphill fight--many consumers may well resent any attempt to force them into paying a premium for packages that include unwanted tracks.

Record industry execs know that their products are flawed and their marketing plans were written before anyone knew who Mariah Carey was. I refute the idea that the "album format" was "preserved" during the switch from vinyl LPs to Compact Discs. In fact, it was not. And I know the music business. I was in the music business. I never made an actual album; I marketed my music through the use of the 12" dance single, which was genius at the time because I played dance music.

The most perfect album ever is Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon.  It is less than 43 minutes in length. It incorporates everything into an album package that was necessary at the time. The double gatefold cover was the perfect decoration for any wall, any collection, and has no impact shrunk down to a miniscule Compact Disc booklet format. It served the intended purpose of the album cover--it didn't tell you what was inside, but it made you snatch it up and guess. The cover image has nothing to do with the moon, so it deceived the buyer into thinking they were getting something about light being refracted through a prism. It was a clever piece of anti-marketing--no picture of the band, no description of what was inside (what you see above has the artist and album title stamped on it to satiate the iPod generation, who are morons), no "hard sell." It was a totem you needed to own in order to appear cool. I've heard it is good; I wouldn't know. Drug music doesn't appeal to me. I may have heard some of it once, and if it is, indeed, the same thing, well, I can tell you that there are some slow parts. Is this the one where the kids sing that they don't need no education?

No one can see what you have on your iPod, so you don't need a large cover to appear cool. See James Wolcott for an explanation of this phenomenon.

The Compact Disc expanded the album format from the 35 to 45 minute duration to an unmanageable 79 minutes. That's where it died. Too many artists decided to "pad" the available length of a CD with whatever they could pass off as filler. What was once perfect turned into something unbearably turgid.

My daughter, Miranda saw this and wishes to weigh in. The Oasis (who are they, anyway?) album Be Here Now  is the perfect example of how the CD format killed the album. Miranda says that, at a length of 71:38, the album is a turgid, overly-long and bloated affair. There is actual silence on the album, leading to a hidden track, another example of indulgence in a format that is dead. Imagine ten or fifteen minutes of silence, pressed onto a piece of vinyl, just to take the listener to a throwaway track.

Whatever Apple wants to do, let it go forward. But let's drop this nonsense that you can still buy an "album."

Digitization and the Game of Baseball

Sportsvision digital imaging of NASCAR

It was bound to happen--the digitization of everything. I'm not even a person anymore--I'm the creation of a major corporation that wants you to buy my hotties, buy my politics, buy my opinions, buy my soul.

Pardon me for talking like a robot.

Not really, but you get the idea. Sportsvision is a company that is applying digital statistics to everything under the sun. This makes sense for NASCAR--the car and the driver are perfectly represented as statistics and the car itself is easy to analyze. But baseball? Hmmm...

Runs, hits, errors - these are some of the classic measures of a pro baseball player's potential and value. But is there a way to compute what separates an average player from a great one? [...]

Baseball has always been a game of statistics and stats provide valuable information:

"Knowing what kind of hitter, what a hitter's tendencies are is all stuff that we study before a game, before a series," said San Francisco Giants center fielder Aaron Rowand.

It's easy to measure how many times a batter strikes out or how fast a pitcher throws. Judging a fielder's performance is much harder to quantify - but that may be changing.

The Giants' AT&T Park in San Francisco is the testing ground for a revolutionary data gathering system for Major League Baseball - combining cameras on top of the light grid and computer software designed by physicist Marv White.

The technology has been around for several years. It began with tracking pitches now that technology is being expanded to track everything that happens on the field for the entire game where the players are, where the ball is - more information than the league has ever had.

White demonstrates how the computer, almost like a video game, maps out the movements of the players during a typical baseball play. The batter hits a high fly ball and the system tracks the exact trajectory. The left fielder tries to catch the ball but misses it, then picks it up and throws it to the shortstop who throws it home, but too late. Two players score. It all unfolds on the screen, just as it is happening on the field.

"The player motion gives us information that, in the past, a statistician could only get with a stopwatch," said white, chief technology officer of Sportvision. "Now, we can see exactly what happened in a play."

As long as baseball is a game umpired by humans, all of the digitization in the world won't change the nature of the game, which is controlled deception in a clear field of play. A pitcher tries to deceive the hitter; a hitter tries to mask his intent as to where or how he is going to hit the ball; a runner tries to deceive the defense; a manager plays his players in a way to deceive his opponent and denies everyone a chance to second-guess his actions by using statistics to support his decision-making process. This technology may make it easier to scout teams. What it won't do is tell you how to read the mind of a skilled player, who adapts and learns faster than any technology. The adjustments a single pitcher can make over the course of a few innings are staggering.

Sportsvision is the company that put that infamous "blurry dot" on hockey pucks, something that I never cared for, since I know how to follow the field of play in the sport of hockey:

Sportvision got its start in 1996, when engineers from News Corp. developed a hockey puck that appeared to glow onscreen—an effect created by embedding an infrared emitter in the puck—to make NHL broadcasts easier to follow. Hockey purists protested (“We joke that some of our key scientists aren’t welcome in Canada,” says Sportvision CEO Hank Adams), but the company made its bones with other innovations shortly after being spun off as an independent company two years later. Its first offering, the first-down marker, became the best known; before long, watching a game without the glowing line began to seem unthinkable.

Today, Sportvision controls about two thirds of the live sports-broadcasting-enhancement industry, working on 3,000 broadcasts a year, including NBA games, Nascar races and golf tournaments. By collecting huge amounts of data on the field of play and the participants, it has shifted the viewer’s focus from the sort of perspective you could see in the stadium with a pair of binoculars to the field-level views of the players. Instead of stats you could track on the back of an envelope, it offers fans information previously beyond the reach of entire coaching staffs.

Consider it technology-creep; it's here to stay. It will change the game of baseball, perhaps. Or, as I suspect, the game will become much better at deceiving even the technology.

Bankruptcy Need Not Ruin a Man

 

Good for Dan Patrick, and good for Lenny Dykstra to illustrate this point:

Former Met and Phillie Lenny Dyktrajoined the show to discuss his financial problems. Here are some of his takes

-- Dykstra says his magazine The Players Club is going on as strong as ever.

-- Dykstra said that people came for job interviews just so they could sue him and make some money.

-- Dan asked Dykstra how many lawsuits have been filed against him. "Doesn't matter, they are all worthless," Dykstra said. "Every one of those lawsuits I'll beat."

Dykstra says he's not worried about the people coming after him for money.

"Bottom line is people pile on," Dykstra said. "That's why I did an '11.'"

Yes, yes they do. When I was forced to file bankruptcy in 1996, it was the culmination of being sued, being put in minimum security prison for a trumped-up insider trading charge, and the Clintonian economy, which wasn't really that good, kiddos.

Dykstra went on to explain to Patrick, whois a far better broadcaster than anyone you see on television right now, up to and including, and especiallythe evil Mr. Olbermann, who knows he's not as good as Dan Patrick, that what's going on is not what it seems:

-- Dykstra said that he still has the house and the plane. But then Dan asked why was there no furniture in his house when HBO showed up with cameras."Just remember dude, everything isn't what it appears," Dykstra said.

-- Dykstra said that he's going through a divorce, and he hopes his finances turn around after that is done.

-- Dykstra says that he's still giving financial advice and every tip he's given has actually worked out.

-- Dykstra says he had 20 offers to do reality shows last year. He didn't want to do one because he thought they would try to take him down. Now that he's at the bottom, he plans to do one. Dan asked what it would be about. "Reality," Dykstra answered.

-- Dan asked Lenny if he was angry. "Angry with what? I win. I always win," Dykstra said.

-- Dykstra says he only sleeps twice a week.

-- "Bottom line is, it's the last man standing that wins," Dykstra said.

That's true. I have somewhere around five or six homes, and half of them don't have furniture in them. The other half have piles and piles of furniture that is thirty years old. Do you know what it's like to still have all of the funky, then-fashionable swinging Sixties furniture that Father had in his love nests? At one point, Father had love nests on virtually every continent. I haven't been to Antarctica. I wouldn't want to bet that there isn't an apartment building in a fashionable part of town down there where Father has a cooing little fashion model down there.

Hang in there, Lenny Dykstra, and learn from my example. I'm still standing. I'm a fantastic lover, a world class raconteur, a blue water sailor, a thinker, a doer, and a blogger without peer.

India and the Dream of a Blue Water Navy

Don't look now, but someone's trying to build a blue water navy:

Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh launched the country's first locally built nuclear-powered submarine on Sunday.

"Today, we join a select group of five nations who possess the capability to build a nuclear-powered submarine," Singh declared in his speech at the eastern naval base of Visakhapatnam.

Although he billed the submarine as an outcome of a public-private partnership, the Indian leader did mention Russia in his address.

"I would also like to express our appreciation to our Russian friends for their consistent and invaluable cooperation, which symbolizes the close strategic partnership that we enjoy with Russia," Singh remarked.

I would be concerned, but, really, one submarine amounts to very little. That it didn't sink is a blessing. Simply having something does not mean you can project it around the world.

Delaware Faces Lawsuit Over Sports Betting

In the 1950s, men routinely emptied their bank accounts to go gambling

Having been to Delaware, I can assure you--sports betting will not save the First State. I don't know what will save it. Swim-A-Longs with Dolphins? Fully Nude Strip Clubs? State Line Fireworks Booths?

Back in May, I told you Sports Betting Will Ruin Everything and I laid out my reasons for being against the practice of betting on games. Fans will upend their lives and pawn their belongings just to bet on a Jets-Bills or Redskins-Giants game. There is no moderation in the life of a professional football fan, sir. None.

Today, the four major sports, yes, they were kind and they allowed the NHL to join in, plus the NCAA, filed a lawsuit against Delaware. Methinks Delaware is going to lose:

The four major pro sports leagues and the NCAA sued Delaware Friday, seeking to block the state from implementing sports betting.

Delaware's sports betting plan "would irreparably harm professional and amateur sports by fostering suspicion and skepticism that individual plays and final scores of games may have been influenced by factors other than honest athletic competition," the leagues and NCAA say in a lawsuit filed in federal district court in Delaware.

Congress banned sports betting in 1992 but grandfathered four states - Delaware, Nevada, Montana and Oregon - that had already offered it. But the lawsuit argues that Delaware's plan to allow single-game betting would violate the legislation because Delaware has never offered single-game betting before.

Under the '92 law, the leagues and NCAA said, a state like Delaware may only reintroduce sports betting if it had been conducted between 1976 and 1990.

They also argue that Delaware's plan is illegal because it allows betting on all sports, going beyond the professional football betting program that constituted the state's brief failed experiment in 1976.

Now, depending on how the judges view that, it could definitely cut against Delaware. I would argue that, in the time frame of 1976 to 1990, there were far fewer methods of betting. Using a credit card was available then, but the advent of the Internet, texting, wireless technology, and the expansion of the major sports franchises, not to mention the creation of the Bowl Championship Series, means that limiting precedent in this case won't fly. I think the case will be won by looking at why Delaware is trying to do this--Delaware, like virtually all of the other states, is broke. It's trying to raise revenue.

The four major sports, and the NCAA, realize this, but they're afraid of losing money as well. A few gambling scandals have hit in recent years--NBA, I still don't watch you because I'm convinced your games are rigged by phony referees--and baseball is still reeling from a steroids scandal. The NCAA, especially, is vulnerable because of the influence of alumni and the fanatical fan base found in places like the SEC and the Big East (but, really, everywhere, even in the Mountain West).

The fans will bankrupt themselves betting on games--no one is more certain of their ability to win some mad money than an Eagles fan that smells blood in the water when the hapless Cowboys come to town. Now that Tony Romo is facing an NFL season without the lovely Jessica Simpson there to keep him grounded, he will likely throw seven or eight interceptions per half when he faces the Eagles.

The societal breakdown of gambling is such that you really want to keep it in Las Vegas, and let them deal with the fallout. If you turn the East Coast into a sports betting paradise, with flocks of erstwhile experts rushing in and out of Delaware to place bets on single games, well, all I can tell you is that one fixed NFL game would bring everything crashing down all around us. Many years ago, Hollywood gave us a pretty good documentary on this issue, and I cannot give you a better example of the evils of sports betting.

A Bad Weekend for Ben Roethlisberger

You're a successful athlete, you're doing whatever you can to make your team better, you're leading by example--and then this happens:

A woman has filed a lawsuit accusing Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger of raping her last summer in his penthouse hotel room at a casino in Lake Tahoe during a celebrity golf tournament.

Roethlisberger's lawyer denied the allegations Tuesday, and noted that the woman, who was working at the hotel as an executive casino host, never went to the authorities.

"Ben has never sexually assaulted anyone. The timing of the lawsuit and the absence of a criminal complaint and a criminal investigation are the most compelling evidence of the absence of any criminal conduct," David Cornwell said in a statement. "If an investigation is commenced, Ben will cooperate fully and Ben will be fully exonerated."

This is why professional athletes have to keep lawyers on retainer. If their images aren't being stolen by cheap bloggers who can't seem to make it out to the old football stadium to snap pictures on their own, then they are having to fend off lawsuits, distant relatives, and creepy old guys who want to practice snapping the ball with you.

Here's the good news, however:

Law enforcement officials in Nevada have no intention of opening a criminal investigation into allegations Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger raped a woman at a Lake Tahoe hotel-casino a year ago, the sheriff's department said Wednesday.

Douglas County Sheriff's Deputy Teresa Duffy said the accuser would have to file a criminal complaint to trigger an investigation into the incident the woman says occurred during a celebrity golf tournament last July while she was working as an executive VIP casino host at Harrah's Lake Tahoe.

The story really doesn't end there. Roethlisberger's accuser is, to put it mildly, a screaming bag of nuts:

Either Ben Roethlisberger accuser Andrea McNulty has painted a disturbing picture of the two-time Super Bowl winner, or she has a very active imagination.

The Nevada hotel employee accusing the Pittsburgh Steelers star of raping her last year says that she told him to stop but the football player refused.

She also alleges that she tried to report the sexual assault, but was shut down by her bosses who downplayed it and threatened her job if she spoke out.

There is also the question of the mental state of Andrea McNulty, who has been treated for PTSD, insomnia, anxiety and depression since the incident.

Is this a byproduct of what happened with Roethlisberger? Or, on the flip side, did her condition lead her to embellish what happened with the NFL star?

I vote for bag of nuts. No one should have to go through this sort of thing, and you always have to remember that, many times, there are unreported incidents of rape and sexual assault. You must always remember this--there truly are some sick and depraved individuals out there who believe their status as a third-string high school football player entitles them to do whatever they want in Shit Holler, Kentucky or wherever. One must keep in mind the need to protect the rights and privacy of the accuser and the accused, where possible.

But, in this case, sorry. When you don't file a criminal report, you make it very difficult to have your story believed. And specifying you want $400K doesn't help you, either.

David Beckham Really Is the Problem

I hate to have to refute someone's bullshit so early in the morning, but here goes:

Let me give it to you in a nutshell: Soccer will never be huge here in the U.S. of A. It’s a nifty little game pastime. There are just too many other sports that are ingrained in the national psyche, notably our brand of football, baseball, hoops, etc. It isn’t a part of our lifestyle, therefore it will only ever be a niche.

Seething Soccer Sucker – like the one who hurled invective at Beckham on Sunday night in Carson, Ca., and wanted to rip out his tattoos with his teeth, as well as the other deluded souls who bothered to bring anti-Beckham banners – don’t get it.

The problem is not Beckham, it’s you. It’s your expectations.

You wanted to abuse Beckham because he isn’t delivering on a promise to come here and turn America into a soccer-mad nation. But he can’t do that because he doesn’t have supernatural powers. It isn’t going to happen. It doesn’t matter if it’s David Beckham or the love child of Pele and Diego Maradona.

What Beckham is providing now – with his half-hearted commitment last season to the L.A. Galaxy – is an excuse for Seething Soccer Sucker and his brethren to unleash his anger and frustration over the economy, health care, traffic, the cost of a Starbucks latte, the split between Jon and Kate or whatever other demons are swirling inside that dark cavernous shell atop his shoulders.

Here we have what is euphemistically being called a "sportswriter" on MSNBC.com--which, as you may well know, is home to America's Worst Sportswriter, Mike Celizic--and he doesn't even know the first thing about sports, which is that, sometimes, rooting against  a player is more exciting than rooting for  a player.

Through his supposed villainy, Beckham may just entice more people to watch soccer. This might all be a calculated Public Relations move to drum up interest in a sport which, seasonally, has to take a back seat to baseball. I can think of several sports "villains" in the past, but the one that comes to mind is the preening, posing, posturing Joe Namath.

What Namath brought to the NFL, at a time when it very badly needed it, was star power. He was larger than life, and spoke his mind. This caused millions to root for him to have his leg snapped back in the pocket like we saw Lawrence Taylor do to Joe Theismann, except that LT wasn't around when Namath needed to have his career ended. In the hoary world of phony nostalgia, it is hard to remember just how many sportswriters thought Namath was a cancer who ruined the innocence of sports, a washed-up has-been, a phony, a fraud, and worthy of being on Richard Nixon's enemies list.

No, the problem I see here isn't with the fans--and as Michael Ventre ridiculously notes, the "fans" who showed up with signs hating on Beckham seem to understand the sport, want to pay to see it, and want to root against Beckham--it's with Beckham, himself. As a sports villain, he needs to punch someone in the gut for looking at his wifes magical upwards-pointing boobs. He needs to tell a bunch of orphans that he will stop by and sign their pictures of him and instead send Danny Bonaduce with a blow up doll and free pork rinds for all. He needs to sneer at the camera more, take his shirt off, and wipe his armpits on a bald man who can't run away fast enough.

I'm against public defecation--no one needs to see that--but in Beckham's case, crapping on the center line after a goal and throwing it around like a zoo monkey on meth might turn this whole thing around.

That being said, it's time for Beckham to cowboy up and play the part of a villain with some feeling, with some guts, with some vigor. No more moping around in underwear--walk into the stands and drop a roundhouse on some hooligans and bare your teeth at the crowd, sir.

Crossing the Line With the Erin Andrews Video

Erin Andrews, ESPN

There are some women that I won't put on my blog. That is not to say that I don't like them, that I don't appreciate them, but rather, it is to say that there are some women who we already know are hotties, but perhaps are a little more than just hotties. Is it wrong of me to make that distinction? Is it wrong of me to say, no, I won't put up pictures of Maria Sharapova or Danica Patrick. (Did I do Danica Patrick? Neither Peej nor I can remember.) I suppose I need to address the ethical concerns of posting pictures of hotties, which I do here and here.

Now, I use that term out of fun. In reality, I am a man with a daughter, with fantastic relationships with strong females, and with seriously co-dependent relationships with other females, and I celebrate beauty, not possession of that beauty.

In other words, I do respect women. That may be hard to believe, but I do.

Erin Andrews is in that overall category of women whom I respect and admire--and that's primarily because she doesn't do the "lad magazines" and she is more of a television personality than a mere babe on television.

Being a baseball fan, I have watched Andrews for years, and she is an excellent broadcaster. In and of her own right, she is to be respected, so nothing about this is even remotely right:

Hackers are using an illegally-taped peephole video that has naked shots of glamorous ESPN sports reporter Erin Andrews as a lure to get click-happy web surfers to download dangerous malware to their computers, according to a computer security website.

Andrews has become a popular fixture on ESPN and the web as a vivacious and beautiful reporter. So much so, that someone used a peephole camera to record video of Andrews as she disrobed.

Naturally, the video went viral online and ESPN lawyers have been scrambling to shut down websites that post links to the material.

That means it's getting increasingly hard to find on the web, but that hasn't stopped the growing demand for it.

And it's that drive that hackers are plugging into, according to sophos.com, a website that sells security software, but also provides security news.

One version of the hack, fools surfers into clicking on what appears to be a CNN version of the video, according to Sophos. When users hit the play button they are presented with a pop up window warning them that their popup blocker has blocked the video player window and they must launch another player. Doing so doesn't play the video, but it does install a Trojan horse with which hackers can later attack the computer, says the site.

The person or persons who used the pinhole camera to make the video of Andrews went so far over the line as to obliterate it completely. There is no good reason to do that to any person, male or female, young or old, attractive or not.

I have a policy that says that, should I be contacted by someone and asked to remove photographs or an entire post, I will certainly do so without carping or complaining. In fact, I have always recognized that there is a good chance of that, and that's why I always celebrate and complement, and I save the humiliating and scorning for politicians and liberals. There is a happy medium, and you can celebrate art and beauty, and you can pay someone like Andrews a complement or point out that, wow, she is an attractive young lady, without breaking the law or going so far over the line as to be insanely creepy. And I know insanely creepy, sir.

That being said, I hope they catch whoever did this to Andrews and throw the book at them.

Kenny Mayne is my Personal Hero

Mayne Street is the finest thing out there:



Avail yourself...

Tom Watson's Magical Run at the British Open is Over

Tom Watson, (Robert Beck, Sports Illustrated)

2:21 p.m.

Watson makes double bogey; Cink makes birdie. Four-shot lead. As the great Samuel L. Jackson once said, "This party is over!"

Ouch. What a run for Tom Watson. Congrats to Stewart Cink.

Who Would Make a Perfect Bilbo Baggins?

Not that anyone cares what I think, but here goes:

Which actor will tackle on Bilbo Baggins role in "The Hobbit" won't be unraveled at San Diego Comic Con 2009 like what has been suggested before. Producer Peter Jackson
has slammed the possibility in an interview with Empire Online. When asked about the circulating rumor, the three-time Academy Award-winner said, "No, we won't be announcing Bilbo for a little while."

Moreover, the director of "The Lord of the Rings
" trilogy explained on why the filmmakers are yet to move forward with the casting. "We're starting to think about casting, but we're knee-deep in the script right now. And when we do go to actors, they're probably going to ask to see a script, so we're powering ahead with getting the first draft done."

Days back, Los Angeles Times' Hero Complex reported that there was a chance that at Comic Con 2009, director Guillermo del Toro will make casting announcement for the lead character in the J.R.R. Tolkien's adaptation. The publication added that "Harry Potter" star Daniel Radcliffe, "Doctor Who
" actor David Tennant and "Atonement" leading man James McAvoy are the potential candidates for the part.

My first choice was probably too daring--Clint Eastwood is too old to play the part. However, all I have to say is this:

John Travolta would make a perfect  Bilbo Baggins.

Yes, you're welcome. You're very welcome indeed.

Great Movies

Here are some of the great movies that I enjoy...

This Gun For Hire

Patton

Hello Dolly

Mutiny on the Bounty

The Longest Day

There's nothing here

Really, when you begin to look at the details, it certainly looks like a trap to me:

The CIA spent at least $1 million on the secret intelligence program that aimed to develop hit squads to kill al Qaeda leaders but never went beyond the planning stage, a congressional official said Tuesday.

The highly classified program, which never became operational but remained in existence until it was shut down by CIA Director Leon Panetta in June, is expected to trigger a congressional investigation, other officials said.

The House Intelligence Committee asked the CIA to provide documents about the now-canceled program to kill al Qaeda leaders, and agency officials said it would comply with the request, congressional officials said Tuesday.

According to one official, the agency spent at least $1 million over the eight years that the CIA considered launching the hit teams. The official would not detail the exact amount or its uses. The official and others spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the matter publicly.

House Democrats and liberals in general are going to have a great deal of egg on their faces if nothing was carried out. This seems to have been a planning mission, a contingency if things went south, and if you don't actually do anything, why would you have to brief it to Congress?

When you sit and think about it, of course we should have a plan to hunt down and kill al Qaeda members anywhere on the globe. The major criticism of the Bush Administration used to be that it wasn't going into Pakistan to get al Qaeda; now that it is revealed that they had just such a program in place, liberals are screaming about the rule of law again. What they forget is that the Obama Administration isn't exactly embracing the rule of law and does believe that it can keep things secret from the Congress.

Now, please let me remind you of what President Bush said in his address to Congress, shortly after 9/11:

We will direct every resource at our command--every means of diplomacy, every tool of intelligence, every instrument of law enforcement, every financial influence, and every necessary weapon of war--to the disruption and defeat of the global terror network.

This war will not be like the war against Iraq a decade ago, with its decisive liberation of territory and its swift conclusion. It will not look like the air war above Kosovo two years ago, where no ground troops were used and not a single American was lost in combat.

Our response involves far more than instant retaliation and isolated strikes. Americans should not expect one battle, but a lengthy campaign, unlike any other we have seen. It may include dramatic strikes, visible on television, and covert operations, secret even in success. We will starve terrorists of funding, turn them one against another, drive them from place to place, until there is no refuge or rest. And we will pursue nations that provide aid or safe haven to terrorism. Every nation, in every region, now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists. From this day forward, any nation that continues to harbor or support terrorism will be regarded by the United States as a hostile regime.

I think we need to remember that, yes, he screwed it up, big time. Every good Republican knows that President Bush was asleep at the wheel most of the time, and rolling in a ditch filled with mediocrity the rest of the time, but one cannot say that he didn't spell out what he intended to do. But, enough with the phony outrage. Everyone knew they were going to send men out with knives to do the dirty work, and from what I gather, it never really even got that far.

Too Stupid to be in the Army

This little fellow is smarter than a certain US Army Major...

Here's a very simple matter, one that I can clear up for you in mere moments:

U.S. Army Maj. Stefan Frederick Cook, set to deploy to Afghanistan, says he shouldn’t have to go.

His reason?

Barack Obama was never eligible to be president because he wasn’t born in the United States.

Cook’s lawyer, Orly Taitz, who has also challenged the legitimacy of Obama’s presidency in other courts, filed a request last week in federal court seeking a temporary restraining order and status as a conscientious objector for his client.

In the 20-page document — filed July 8 with the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Georgia — the California-based Taitz asks the court to consider granting his client’s request based upon Cook’s belief that Obama is not a natural-born citizen of the United States and is therefore ineligible to serve as commander-in-chief of the U.S. Armed Forces.

Cook further states he “would be acting in violation of international law by engaging in military actions outside the United States under this President’s command. ... simultaneously subjecting himself to possible prosecution as a war criminal by the faithful execution of these duties.”

Now, what's really going on here is that Major Cook is not really interested in determining whether or not the President is eligible to be President. What's really going on here is that Major Cook is too stupid to hold a commission in the United States Army.

Anything beyond that is not worth discussing.

The Flaw in Our Afghanistan Strategy

US Soldiers Stuck in the Sand, Southern Afghanistan, 2004

Being a man of war, and of military concerns, is draining. It's hard for me to sit here and see others make dreadful mistakes.

STRATFOR tells us what is going on in Afghanistan:

The Afghan counterinsurgency campaign also suffers from a weakness in its strategic rationale. What makes Afghanistan critical to the United States is al Qaeda, the core group of jihadists that demonstrated the ability to launch transcontinental attacks against the West from Afghanistan. The argument has been that without U.S. troops in the country and a pro-American government in Kabul, al Qaeda might return, rebuild and strike again. That makes Afghanistan a strategic interest for the United States

But there is a strategic divergence between the war against al Qaeda and the war against the Taliban. Some will argue that al Qaeda remains operational, and that therefore the United States must make the long-term military investment in Afghanistan to deprive the enemy of sanctuary.

But while some al Qaeda members remain to issue threatening messages from the region, the group’s ability to meet covertly, recruit talent, funnel money and execute operations from the region has been hampered considerably. The overall threat value of al Qaeda, in our view, has declined. If this is a war that pivots on intelligence, the mission to block al Qaeda eventually may once again be left to the covert capabilities of U.S. intelligence and Special Operations Command, whether in Afghanistan, Pakistan or elsewhere.

Widening the war’s objectives to defeating the Taliban insurgency through a resource-intensive hearts-and-minds campaign requires time and patience, both of which lie with the insurgent. If the United States were to draw the conclusion that al Qaeda was no longer functional, and that follow-on organizations may be as likely to organize attacks from Somalia or Pakistan as much as from Afghanistan, then the significance of Afghanistan declines.

That creates the asymmetry that made the Vietnam War unsustainable. The Taliban have nowhere else to go. They have fought as an organization since the 1990s, and longer than that as individuals. Their interests in the future of Afghanistan towers over the American interest if it is determined that the al Qaeda-Afghanistan nexus is no longer decisive. If that were to happen, then the willingness of the United States to absorb casualties would decline dramatically.

It does make you want to reconsider our strategy. If you believe, as I do, that al Qaeda is still a significant threat that should be dealt with accordingly, and by that I mean, dealt with as if it were a small, pathetic organization with very little to show for itself, then you cannot be happy that the Democrat Party has decided to politicize intelligence and national security by permanently attacking the Bush Administrationwhile ignoring the fact that the Obama Administration is simply carrying out the same policies, but with a fresher, happier attitude towards our many friends and allies.

I would urge you to digest every bit of "What Really Happened at Wanat," by Thomas Ricks:

Just before dawn last July 13, Taliban fighters attacked an outpost in eastern Afghanistan being established by U.S. Army soldiers and fought a short, sharp battle that left many American dead -- and many questions. But the U.S. military establishment, I've found after reviewing the Army investigation, dozens of statements given by soldiers to investigators, and interviews with knowledgeable sources, simply has not wanted to confront some bad mistakes on this obscure Afghan battlefield -- especially tragic because, as the interviews make clear, some of the doomed soldiers knew they were headed for potential disaster.

First, here's my account of what happened that day, drawn from the official investigation and other sources:

The 45 Americans, mainly from 2nd Platoon, Chosen Company, 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment, part of the 173rd Airborne Brigade, had begun building a patrol base in the Waygul River valley village of Wanat on July 8. There also were three Marines present, who were training Afghans, and 24 soldiers from the Afghan army. (The initial Army report said two Marines, but subsequent documents corrected this.) The platoon's leader was there the whole time, but the company commander was busy elsewhere and only arrived the day before the attack. None of their superiors visited the outpost during that time. Significantly, there was no overhead surveillance by unmanned aerial vehicles because of bad weather, according to Army documents.

At 4:20 a.m., just before sunrise, volleys of rocket-propelled grenades began to hit the base. There were approximately 200 attackers, according to the Army investigation. They began by concentrating on the American's heavy weapons -- a 120 millimeter mortar, a TOW missile system, and a .50 caliber machine gun. It felt like "about a thousand RPGs at once," Spec. Tyler Hanson later told an Army interviewer. With the first two heavy weapons knocked out, the Taliban moved in to fight just feet away from the Americans, making it difficult to call in air strikes against them. Enemy fighters threw rocks into their Americans' fighting holes, apparently hoping they soldiers would mistake them for grenades and jump out, exposing themselves to fire. Enemy fire was coming from every direction. "The whole time we were thinking we were going to die," said Spec. Chris McKaig.

Many did. When most of the fighting was over, about an hour later, nine American soldiers were dead and another 27 were wounded. Between 21 and 52 of the attackers were killed. The Americans held the outpost, which is impressive, considering their 75 percent casualty rate.

Lessons are not being learned. This shall lead us to ruin.

Beauty and the Ancients

Ah, now this proves my point. Safe For Work Hotties are timeless and universal. If you cannot appreciate a beautiful woman, and I'll be consistent with my beliefs and add, or a beautiful man, then you are ignoring the thousands of years of human culture that came before us.

To wit:

Italian archaeologists have discovered lotion that is over 2,000 years old, left almost intact in the cosmetic case of an aristocratic Etruscan woman.

The discovery, which occurred four years ago in a necropolis near the Tuscan town of Chiusi, has just been made public, following chemical analysis which identified the original compounds of the ancient ointment. The team reports their findings in the July issue of the Journal of Archaeological Science.

Dating to the second half of the second century B.C., the intact tomb was found sealed by a large terracotta tile. The site featured a red-purple painted inscription with the name of the deceased: Thana Presnti Plecunia Umranalisa.

Thana, we'll work up a gallery for you when we get the chance. Meanwhile, this is just good, plain old science in action:

"The entire content of the cosmetic case was found under a clay layer which deposited throughout time. This made it possible for the ointment to survive almost intact despite (the fact that) the vessel had no cap," Erika Ribechini, a researcher at the department of chemistry and industrial chemistry of Pisa University, told Discovery News.

Solid, homogeneous and pale yellow, the ointment revealed fatty acids in high abundance.

"This is almost unique in archaeology. Even though more than 2,000 years have passed, the oxidation of the organic material has not yet been completed. This is most likely due to the sealing of the alabaster unguentarium by the clayish earth, which prevented contact with oxygen," Ribechini said.

After analyzing the material, the researchers established that the contents of the vessel consisted of a mixture of substances of lipids and resins.

"The natural resins were the pine resin, exudated from Pinaceae, and the mastic resin, from Anacardiaceae trees. The lipid was a vegetable oil, most likely moringa oil, which was used by the Egyptians and Greeks to produce ointments and perfumes," Ribechini said.

Also called myrobalan oil, moringa oil was mentioned by Roman scholar Pliny the Elder (23 A.D. - 79 A.D.) in his celebrated Natural History as one of the ingredients in the recipe of a "regal perfume" for the king of Parthes.

Since moringa trees were not found in Italy — they are native to Sudan and Egypt — and given the Egyptian origins of the alabaster unguentarium, the researchers concluded that the ointment was imported to Etruria.

A desire to look desireable is as old as the ancient avenues and older still than anything left here by man. Ignore the prudes and enjoy the sensual.

Where Are the Propaganda Posters of Today?

Why isn't there an equivalent of this for kicking the Taliban's ass? Too politically incorrect?

A powerful image of a woman kicking an evil bastard in the gut--now there's a way to end the weekend. Excuse me while I put in the Patton DVD...

NASCAR Crashes Are the Best And So Is The Trash Talking

I don't care what you say about all of the other sports--the smack talking and the trash talking and the insults are best when it comes to NASCAR. Basketball has the gibes going back and forth, football has the line of scrimmage taunting, and golf has the subtle dig at the news conference. NASCAR has the smackdown.

Tony Stewart says that he and Kyle Busch talked on the phone for about 30 minutes earlier in the week, and that both were in agreement about their final-lap wreck at Daytona last Saturday-that it was not the way that anybody wanted things to work out but that it was racing, pure and simple. In other words, Them's the breaks.

But Busch apparently didn't come away with the same impression. Meeting with the media at Chicago yesterday, the Shrub got prickly. Claiming Stewart "dumped" him, Bush said, "I think NASCAR can take a step in looking at it, and if the second-place driver bumps the leader, then black-flag (him). He doesn't get the win."

I'm sorry, but how exactly did Stewart dump Busch? Kyle blocked Stewart's first move to the inside, but the second, to the outside, gave Stewart's car position. Busch, attempting a second block, then swerved up the track and hit Stewart's left front bumper with the 18 car's right rear quarter-panel. Busch, not Stewart, initiated the contact. Stewart, not Busch, had position, and did nothing but hold his ground. Is Busch kidding? Take a look for yourself.

I will embed the video here--

&nbsp

Now, is this a black flag violation?

Nope. That's because what I see is nothing more than a little door banging. That the 18 car would get loose and lose control is clearly the fault of the driver, not the person who hit him. Those are the breaks, kiddo.

La Russa Drops Twitter Lawsuit

Poor Twitter.

After some good public relations this year, the social networking site has been forced to deal with the ridiculous lawsuit of St. Louis Cardinals baseball manager Tony La Russa:

St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa has quietly dropped his lawsuit against the social networking site Twitter Inc. A one-paragraph statement filed June 26 with the U.S. District Court in San Francisco said La Russa had dropped all claims - and that San Francisco-based Twitter did not compensate him in exchange. It also said he could not refile the same complaint.

Calls and e-mails to La Russa's attorney, Gregory McCoy, and to Twitter co-founder Biz Stone, were not returned Tuesday. Twitter attorney Rodger Cole said in an e-mail that he was not authorized to discuss the case.

La Russa's lawsuit, originally filed in San Francisco Superior Court in May and transferred to federal court on June 5, alleged trademark infringement, "cybersquatting" and misappropriation of his name. It claimed an unauthorized page that used his name caused emotional distress by making light of his DUI charge and the deaths of two Cardinals pitchers in recent seasons.

La Russa said June 5 that he and Twitter had reached a settlement, with Twitter agreeing to pay legal fees and make a donation to his California-based Animal Rescue Foundation.

But Twitter, in a blog posting, said there was no settlement. Stone later told The Associated Press in an e-mail that Twitter resolved the account impersonation in accordance with its terms of service.

Corynne McSherry, a lawyer who's been following the case for the Electronic Frontier Foundation, said ending the short-lived suit was a "very sensible thing to do." The foundation consists of lawyers and activists protecting fair use and free speech on the Internet.

 I mean, this isn't even clever:

The impostor's Twitter account bearing La Russa's name is no longer active. The lawsuit included a screen shot of three tweets. One posted on April 19 said: "Lost 2 out of 3, but we made it out of Chicago without one drunk driving incident or dead pitcher."

Cardinals pitcher Darryl Kile died of a heart condition in his Chicago hotel room in 2002. Cardinals reliever Josh Hancock died in an auto accident in April 2007, and the medical examiner measured his blood-alcohol level at 0.157 - nearly twice the legal limit.

Who, in their right mind, would think that that was actually La Russa making that posting on Twitter? La Russa's case would have had more merit if Twitter actually required proof of identity. My solution? A credit card fee of exactly one dollar would solve 99% of Twitter's problems right now--the one dollar fee would carry a stipulation that the Twitterer would be required to maintain the name on the credit card in association with their account. This would allow legitimate businesses and real people to have a social networking presence on Twitter that could, at least, carry some validity. Certainly, users could use stolen credit cards, but why would you go on Twitter in the name of the person whose credit card you stole? All it would take to shut down that account would be a simple fraud notice from the victim.

La Russa should go back to managing the Cardinals and stop worrying about Twitter. With a two game lead as of today in the National League central, the LAST thing one would want to do is start chasing lawsuits around.

Twitter is mired in stupidity right now, and I don't even bother to use it these days. There are far too many marketers and scammers, there is an abundance of worthless Spam, and no one clicks the links that I post over there anyway. I still have over 1,300 followers, but I simply don't care anymore.

Plus, I hate the fact that there are people who set up Twitter accounts and assume some sort of fake persona or fake name, as if that sort of thing would be funny. It is not funny, sir. It is horrible, vicious, mean and a waste of time.

This is a Fabulous Day for Tonya Harding

America's favorite white trash ice skating princess has a new BFF:

Former figure skating champion Nicole Bobek has been charged with being part of a northern New Jersey drug ring.

The 31-year-old Bobek made her first court appearance Monday by video from the Hudson County Jail. Bobek, who has homes in New York and Jupiter, Fla., was arrested in Florida last week. She is charged with conspiracy to distribute methamphetamine in Hudson County.

Attorney Sam DeLuca entered a not guilty plea for Bobek. She was held on $200,000 bail and faces up to 10 years in prison if she's convicted. A telephone call to DeLuca's office rang unanswered Monday afternoon.

It's sad when such talented and promising young people turn to the crystal meth. My son is in the SuperMax Prison because he ran a crystal meth manufacturing and distribution network, one based upon fear and eliminating rivals.

Either way, when we politely discuss white trash ice skating chickie babes with a propensity for law breaking, we now have to clarify whether we mean Harding or Bobek, and hopefully that will be the end of the scandals for women's figure skating for a while.